discoveringdesaray

Feeling a little blue and nostalgic today, I started going through old journals and found some things that really made me blush! The Lord has really brought me out of some mess, I tell you! I can't believe the state I was in just over four years ago compared to now! I was so lost back then. It seems like a lifetime ago. But it really isn't so very long ago. It is amazing how far the Lord can bring us in such a short space of time. I remember that not long after I wrote these things I felt like He was putting me into some kind of fast-forward mode. Everything was just flying! My eyes were opened to so much so fast, knowledge and understanding were being poured on me in abundance. I remember being so excited and overwhelmed and scared all at once. But I didn't want it to stop. I was falling in love with God. There is something special about true love. And when you are first falling in love and discovering someone it is the most alive you think you will ever feel. Try fall...

I cried yesterday.  As I quickly headed toward the KidzHop room to pick up the little boys, I had no choice but to pass the junior high room. On instinct my eyes searched for your face in the crowd of teenagers. Then the weight of knowledge set down on my heart and I remembered I wouldn't see your face in there. I hurried along with tears in my eyes.  It's been four days since you left. Slowly we are all adjusting and finding our rhythm. But this has been the most difficult transition yet. The boys keep asking about you, keep accidentally calling you for meals. Joshua called Jamarcus Isaac yesterday when he walked into the room. Your absence is felt.  There is an aching hole in our home and in our hearts now that you've left. You have become so much a part of each of us. I prayed for this day to come. Yearning for the acceptance and love we have now found from you. I longed for the day that you would trust me and confide in me and turn to me in moments of fear ...

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." -John 3:19-21 I accepted the Lord almost 14 years ago. Since that very night that my life changed my prayers have remained vigilant for my family to turn toward Christ as well. I've seen both of my younger sisters turn toward him, take the walk up front, be baptized, and then slowly fall away-distracted by what the world offers. My brother is a similar story, though he still professes Jesus as His Lord, his relationship suffers and distractions get in the way. I long for the day I see my parents make that step. My mom, as a girl, was raised in the church. She served willingly and with excitement as a te...