We all need an anchor
I was reading ice breakers today, trying to find the perfect one for tonight's first small group meeting at my home. I came across one about mentors. It wanted the members to share about a person that has helped to mold them and instantly Valerie came to mind. How could she not, in all honesty?
We laugh over and over about how we first met and I tease her about her stalking tendencies. In reality though, it was all the Lord. He answered my wondering, almost immediately, about finding the right small group for me and my children. He sent Martha to sit next to a total stranger and introduce herself and ask if I belong to a small group. Then she immediately recommended Valerie and Bart. Okay, I know the Bart guy from the preschool room.
Later, Bart has to call me back about yet another issue with my little guy. But instead of kicking him out the way so many others did, he kept him in and sent me back to service. When I went to pick him up later, there was my son getting in trouble again right in front of me. And as I tried to get him, he ran and ran and I chased and chased. It was a similar dance to what I was going through with the Lord at that point. Crying and afraid I kept running and trying to hide and he kept pressing on.
The difference was: I was exhausted and the Lord never tires of pursuing us. I sat down in the middle of the room and began to sob. My little boy came to me and we sobbed together. Poor Bart didn't know what to do with us. And then Valerie showed up.
Bart made her come in (I could tell that much, even in my state). She started talking to me and I started to share and she did her best to minister to me in the moment. Then she invited me to their small group. I told her I had actually been invited by Martha earlier. Okay great, it's settled.
Within a couple of days I was panicking and thought there was no way I was going to that small group and putting myself in that kind of position. I was so embarrassed by my behavior on Sunday and I refused to have a repeat.
But more than that, I was terrified of actually connecting with someone. Friends always lie or leave. No one could really be trusted. I had so many walls up and I resisted the idea of opening up to anyone or chancing getting close to anyone.
Of course I ran into Valerie the day before small group and she was so excited to see me and confirm that I would be there. Rats! Now I was stuck! Oh, how I did not want to go to that meeting.
But I went. I was nervous and overwhelmed and so scared. But I met some folks that I'm still friends with to this day that night. And I decided, in the moment, that it wasn't so bad.
Of course after another visit or two I chickened out and started backing off. I missed a week here and there. Then I just stopped going. Valerie would call and I wouldn't call her back. She would myspace or email me and I wouldn't return anything. Didn't she get the point? Didn't she know I just didn't want to be bothered?
Finally she emailed me on one of the worst days of my life and I said that's enough. If she wants to know how I am, I will tell her! And boy did I tell her! I let her have every detail of every emotion and thought and bit of mess I was dealing with.
And then I went back to small group and I never left again.
Over time Valerie became my confidant, my friend, my spiritual mother, my teacher, my accountability partner...later she even became my matron of honor!
She didn't give up on me. She never made me feel like I was a bother or more trouble than I was worth. That was a first for me. A very first. She took time to talk things out and explain and make sure I understood the Word we were studying or the lesson...but she never made me feel incompetent or dumb.
Valerie always had a way of validating me yet checking in me in when it was needed. She would be the stern voice and swift kick the pants when I was being lazy or rebellious or a cry baby. She never told me what I wanted to hear, but I what I needed to hear. That's why I can't think of a single woman I respect more than her.
The Lord used her as a guide and a shoulder to lean on during a dark and scary time for me. He used to her to tether me in with the body of Christ rather than allowing me to drift on my own lonely, isolated way. He used her to keep me in line. He used her to comfort me. He used her to teach me how to laugh and have fun and be a total goofball. He used her to show me how to be a responsible woman and grown-up. He used her to demonstrate how to be a patient, understanding and prayerful mother.
Through Valerie I learned how to be a submissive (even if Bart doesn't agree) wife who puts the needs of her family above her own. I learned how to cater to my husband and be a support instead of a burden. When I thought the world was crumbling around me, she taught me how to stand strong on the Rock that will never break. My heart was broken, she always pointed me back to the One who cherishes my heart and the only One who could heal it.
A voice of reason, a scolding when needed, consolation and comfort. A light beckoning me forward in the midst of darkness. Warmth in the cold night of life. A friend like none I've never known. Valerie has given me a new definition and understanding of friendship. She is unique and quirky and creative and energetic and crazy silly. She is passionate for the Lord and she is kind and giving and compassionate.
I am so grateful that God put this woman of God in my life and I know that she has been the main instrument through which He has worked to help keep me close, shape me and educate me. I just pray now that I will be able to demonstrate the same love and compassion and correction and openness that she has shared with me. I pray that I can walk in wisdom and strength and integrity as she has shown.
She has been my anchor and touchstone.
#blessedbeyondbelief
We laugh over and over about how we first met and I tease her about her stalking tendencies. In reality though, it was all the Lord. He answered my wondering, almost immediately, about finding the right small group for me and my children. He sent Martha to sit next to a total stranger and introduce herself and ask if I belong to a small group. Then she immediately recommended Valerie and Bart. Okay, I know the Bart guy from the preschool room.
Later, Bart has to call me back about yet another issue with my little guy. But instead of kicking him out the way so many others did, he kept him in and sent me back to service. When I went to pick him up later, there was my son getting in trouble again right in front of me. And as I tried to get him, he ran and ran and I chased and chased. It was a similar dance to what I was going through with the Lord at that point. Crying and afraid I kept running and trying to hide and he kept pressing on.
The difference was: I was exhausted and the Lord never tires of pursuing us. I sat down in the middle of the room and began to sob. My little boy came to me and we sobbed together. Poor Bart didn't know what to do with us. And then Valerie showed up.
Bart made her come in (I could tell that much, even in my state). She started talking to me and I started to share and she did her best to minister to me in the moment. Then she invited me to their small group. I told her I had actually been invited by Martha earlier. Okay great, it's settled.
Within a couple of days I was panicking and thought there was no way I was going to that small group and putting myself in that kind of position. I was so embarrassed by my behavior on Sunday and I refused to have a repeat.
But more than that, I was terrified of actually connecting with someone. Friends always lie or leave. No one could really be trusted. I had so many walls up and I resisted the idea of opening up to anyone or chancing getting close to anyone.
Of course I ran into Valerie the day before small group and she was so excited to see me and confirm that I would be there. Rats! Now I was stuck! Oh, how I did not want to go to that meeting.
But I went. I was nervous and overwhelmed and so scared. But I met some folks that I'm still friends with to this day that night. And I decided, in the moment, that it wasn't so bad.
Of course after another visit or two I chickened out and started backing off. I missed a week here and there. Then I just stopped going. Valerie would call and I wouldn't call her back. She would myspace or email me and I wouldn't return anything. Didn't she get the point? Didn't she know I just didn't want to be bothered?
Finally she emailed me on one of the worst days of my life and I said that's enough. If she wants to know how I am, I will tell her! And boy did I tell her! I let her have every detail of every emotion and thought and bit of mess I was dealing with.
And then I went back to small group and I never left again.
Over time Valerie became my confidant, my friend, my spiritual mother, my teacher, my accountability partner...later she even became my matron of honor!
She didn't give up on me. She never made me feel like I was a bother or more trouble than I was worth. That was a first for me. A very first. She took time to talk things out and explain and make sure I understood the Word we were studying or the lesson...but she never made me feel incompetent or dumb.
Valerie always had a way of validating me yet checking in me in when it was needed. She would be the stern voice and swift kick the pants when I was being lazy or rebellious or a cry baby. She never told me what I wanted to hear, but I what I needed to hear. That's why I can't think of a single woman I respect more than her.
The Lord used her as a guide and a shoulder to lean on during a dark and scary time for me. He used to her to tether me in with the body of Christ rather than allowing me to drift on my own lonely, isolated way. He used her to keep me in line. He used her to comfort me. He used her to teach me how to laugh and have fun and be a total goofball. He used her to show me how to be a responsible woman and grown-up. He used her to demonstrate how to be a patient, understanding and prayerful mother.
Through Valerie I learned how to be a submissive (even if Bart doesn't agree) wife who puts the needs of her family above her own. I learned how to cater to my husband and be a support instead of a burden. When I thought the world was crumbling around me, she taught me how to stand strong on the Rock that will never break. My heart was broken, she always pointed me back to the One who cherishes my heart and the only One who could heal it.
A voice of reason, a scolding when needed, consolation and comfort. A light beckoning me forward in the midst of darkness. Warmth in the cold night of life. A friend like none I've never known. Valerie has given me a new definition and understanding of friendship. She is unique and quirky and creative and energetic and crazy silly. She is passionate for the Lord and she is kind and giving and compassionate.
I am so grateful that God put this woman of God in my life and I know that she has been the main instrument through which He has worked to help keep me close, shape me and educate me. I just pray now that I will be able to demonstrate the same love and compassion and correction and openness that she has shared with me. I pray that I can walk in wisdom and strength and integrity as she has shown.
She has been my anchor and touchstone.
#blessedbeyondbelief
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