"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." -John 3:19-21
I accepted the Lord almost 14 years ago. Since that very night that my life changed my prayers have remained vigilant for my family to turn toward Christ as well. I've seen both of my younger sisters turn toward him, take the walk up front, be baptized, and then slowly fall away-distracted by what the world offers. My brother is a similar story, though he still professes Jesus as His Lord, his relationship suffers and distractions get in the way.
I long for the day I see my parents make that step. My mom, as a girl, was raised in the church. She served willingly and with excitement as a teenager. Somewhere, as an adult, she got too busy for God. And she has never found time for Him again. My step-dad is closed off with the subject. In the last couple of years I have seen small cracks in his resolve; bursts of curiosity, softening toward other believers he has met. I take these small victories and celebrate in them. I am always reminded that the Lord will finish the good work He has started in us.
But for those of you in my position, you know how hard it can be to the be only believer in your family. You know the heartbreak I feel when they fall into situations that could have been avoided with a knowledge of the Word and the warnings the Lord offers. You know the frustration I feel when attitudes flare and they won't listen to reason and look at me as the weak link because I won't react the way they do.
You know the loneliness and isolation I can sometimes feel. When I have to separate myself from the crowd because I have to keep my guard up and protect my mind, eyes and spirit from certain things that they may not think twice about listening to or watching. Or the rejection I feel when they don't offer to include me in their fun because I'm the spoil sport who "is too good".
Then there is the persecution for making those choices and being different than the rest of them. Fasting means I'm in a cult, because no one at church should have a right to tell me what to eat and not to eat. Praying over a meal is irritating and a waste of time when hungry stomachs are grumbling. Being seen as judgmental and being asked what makes you so special when I have to request certain language be abstained from around my children or the channel be changed with my kids in the room.
Don't get me wrong, my family is great and they aren't a horde of demonic heathens. Think back to before we were saved. Our sense of humor was different. What was acceptable and funny in the world is coarse jesting and impure according to God's standards. It was then too, we just didn't know it yet. My family loves me and I love them. We would do anything to help each other however we can and we stick close. You hurt one of us, you hurt us all. We are tight. But division comes when one chooses to leave the flock and go a different path; a path no one else understands.
Luke 12:53
They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Over the last year I have found myself more comfortable than ever before to talk to my mom about the Lord. My life has really become about serving God with everything I can and there isn't much room to talk about other things. Obviously we discuss family and her job. But when I share with her everything is centered around things at church, friends from church, our Bible college classes and what I'm studying, my small group preparations, etc. I'm not afraid to share with her what the Word says about a subject, even when I know she won't really receive it. She doesn't reject it outright anymore either.
There have been moments where conversations have flared up about other professing Christians she knows are doing things that make church people really bad, and I've had to clarify that what they are saying and doing is not scriptural. Remind her not to judge all churches or all believers based off the few that make us look really bad. And she listens to what I say (even if it is only to back her point more on how wrong they are). But I've seen moments where the light comes on and things click. I can feel the Spirit tugging on her sometimes. I know He is working.
Usually I am content to let Him do His job and I do mine. But sometimes I have the disgruntled, "why is this taking so long, Lord" attitude. Especially when I see situations that may have been avoided with godly wisdom and knowledge of His Word. Moments of anger and frustration that could be alleviated by His peace that comes in and His rest promised to His beloved. My heart breaks knowing how much He loves them and how much stress would be gone if only they knew they could turn to Him and let Him take over. If they knew they didn't have to worry because they knew who their Provider is.
I don't understand why they are so stubborn. Why can't they just see? These are thoughts I've had. Open their eyes, Lord! More recently I've started feeling the Spirit leading towards the prospect that they do see. But they are afraid. They are afraid of exposure. They are afraid of the Light because they don't know how to or want to have to face what is on the inside of them. They don't want to confess that they aren't okay. They don't want to face change.
Today He led me to the Scripture above that clarified this very feeling. So now I know where I need to steer my prayers. I pray that Jesus will come in and, in His perfect love, drive out all fear they have. I pray they will come to the knowledge that they will be better off exposed, cleansed and walking with Him than hiding in the dark, fearful of someone noticing they aren't perfect. I pray they will be bold enough to face their weakness, fears and sins and say enough is enough. I pray the Spirit will arrest them in their sinful attitudes and mindsets and even actions and make them so uncomfortable that they must seek a reprieve and only find it in His loving embrace.
I speak the salvation that I know is theirs over them and claim it as reality until the day the Lord calls them forth. I know He is courting them. I know that He desires them even more than I desire them to find Him. He loves them and knows them better than I could ever know or love them. I pray that every hurdle that was placed in their path by bad examples set by "Christians" or church hurts they have carried since their youth be removed from their path. That the Lord show them a good example that will always outweigh the negative. That through the example of me and my husband, my children, my friends and my leadership (whom my parents know and respect) they will see what it is to serve Christ and to follow Him and what He does for His children. I pray to be a walking testimony every day that can help to drive out that fear of exposure and instead shine a light that is so contagious they can't help but follow and try to get what I have.
I pray that He come in and saturate every part of their lives with His Presence. That He reveals to them what they truly mean to Him and how loved and accepted and wanted they are. That they find purpose and drive and security in Him. That beyond His forgiveness, I pray they learn to forgive themselves and the ones that have hurt them. That the bitterness that has rooted itself deep into their hearts will be ripped out and cast out and replaced by love and joy and contentment. I pray His blood covering over them and every area of their lives: their jobs, their health, their finances, their home and relationships.
I remember when my mom interviewed for her current job position. One of the questions they asked her in the interview was how important security is to her. She said it was at the top of her list of importance. (She had had several companies close and lost her job as a result over the years). I pray that she would stop running from the only security she will ever need: a Husband, a Father, a Friend, a Provider, a Teacher, a Saviour, a Redeemer, a Protector, Truth.
This is where my heart is today and I wanted to share. I know I'm not the only daughter of the King out there believing for her family. So whether it is your parents, siblings, husband, children or grandchildren...never give up hope. Keep praying. Ask the Lord to reveal their hearts to you in order to help you pray for them. Don't assume you know what is going on in their minds and hearts, only He knows the truth. I never would have guessed fear when it came to my family. God revealed that to me when I stopped telling Him what it was and started asking Him what it was. And now I can see it in them. Be fervent in your prayers, but be open and listen to what the Spirit has to share with you.
I accepted the Lord almost 14 years ago. Since that very night that my life changed my prayers have remained vigilant for my family to turn toward Christ as well. I've seen both of my younger sisters turn toward him, take the walk up front, be baptized, and then slowly fall away-distracted by what the world offers. My brother is a similar story, though he still professes Jesus as His Lord, his relationship suffers and distractions get in the way.
I long for the day I see my parents make that step. My mom, as a girl, was raised in the church. She served willingly and with excitement as a teenager. Somewhere, as an adult, she got too busy for God. And she has never found time for Him again. My step-dad is closed off with the subject. In the last couple of years I have seen small cracks in his resolve; bursts of curiosity, softening toward other believers he has met. I take these small victories and celebrate in them. I am always reminded that the Lord will finish the good work He has started in us.
But for those of you in my position, you know how hard it can be to the be only believer in your family. You know the heartbreak I feel when they fall into situations that could have been avoided with a knowledge of the Word and the warnings the Lord offers. You know the frustration I feel when attitudes flare and they won't listen to reason and look at me as the weak link because I won't react the way they do.
You know the loneliness and isolation I can sometimes feel. When I have to separate myself from the crowd because I have to keep my guard up and protect my mind, eyes and spirit from certain things that they may not think twice about listening to or watching. Or the rejection I feel when they don't offer to include me in their fun because I'm the spoil sport who "is too good".
Then there is the persecution for making those choices and being different than the rest of them. Fasting means I'm in a cult, because no one at church should have a right to tell me what to eat and not to eat. Praying over a meal is irritating and a waste of time when hungry stomachs are grumbling. Being seen as judgmental and being asked what makes you so special when I have to request certain language be abstained from around my children or the channel be changed with my kids in the room.
Don't get me wrong, my family is great and they aren't a horde of demonic heathens. Think back to before we were saved. Our sense of humor was different. What was acceptable and funny in the world is coarse jesting and impure according to God's standards. It was then too, we just didn't know it yet. My family loves me and I love them. We would do anything to help each other however we can and we stick close. You hurt one of us, you hurt us all. We are tight. But division comes when one chooses to leave the flock and go a different path; a path no one else understands.
Luke 12:53
They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
Over the last year I have found myself more comfortable than ever before to talk to my mom about the Lord. My life has really become about serving God with everything I can and there isn't much room to talk about other things. Obviously we discuss family and her job. But when I share with her everything is centered around things at church, friends from church, our Bible college classes and what I'm studying, my small group preparations, etc. I'm not afraid to share with her what the Word says about a subject, even when I know she won't really receive it. She doesn't reject it outright anymore either.
There have been moments where conversations have flared up about other professing Christians she knows are doing things that make church people really bad, and I've had to clarify that what they are saying and doing is not scriptural. Remind her not to judge all churches or all believers based off the few that make us look really bad. And she listens to what I say (even if it is only to back her point more on how wrong they are). But I've seen moments where the light comes on and things click. I can feel the Spirit tugging on her sometimes. I know He is working.
Usually I am content to let Him do His job and I do mine. But sometimes I have the disgruntled, "why is this taking so long, Lord" attitude. Especially when I see situations that may have been avoided with godly wisdom and knowledge of His Word. Moments of anger and frustration that could be alleviated by His peace that comes in and His rest promised to His beloved. My heart breaks knowing how much He loves them and how much stress would be gone if only they knew they could turn to Him and let Him take over. If they knew they didn't have to worry because they knew who their Provider is.
I don't understand why they are so stubborn. Why can't they just see? These are thoughts I've had. Open their eyes, Lord! More recently I've started feeling the Spirit leading towards the prospect that they do see. But they are afraid. They are afraid of exposure. They are afraid of the Light because they don't know how to or want to have to face what is on the inside of them. They don't want to confess that they aren't okay. They don't want to face change.
Today He led me to the Scripture above that clarified this very feeling. So now I know where I need to steer my prayers. I pray that Jesus will come in and, in His perfect love, drive out all fear they have. I pray they will come to the knowledge that they will be better off exposed, cleansed and walking with Him than hiding in the dark, fearful of someone noticing they aren't perfect. I pray they will be bold enough to face their weakness, fears and sins and say enough is enough. I pray the Spirit will arrest them in their sinful attitudes and mindsets and even actions and make them so uncomfortable that they must seek a reprieve and only find it in His loving embrace.
I speak the salvation that I know is theirs over them and claim it as reality until the day the Lord calls them forth. I know He is courting them. I know that He desires them even more than I desire them to find Him. He loves them and knows them better than I could ever know or love them. I pray that every hurdle that was placed in their path by bad examples set by "Christians" or church hurts they have carried since their youth be removed from their path. That the Lord show them a good example that will always outweigh the negative. That through the example of me and my husband, my children, my friends and my leadership (whom my parents know and respect) they will see what it is to serve Christ and to follow Him and what He does for His children. I pray to be a walking testimony every day that can help to drive out that fear of exposure and instead shine a light that is so contagious they can't help but follow and try to get what I have.
I pray that He come in and saturate every part of their lives with His Presence. That He reveals to them what they truly mean to Him and how loved and accepted and wanted they are. That they find purpose and drive and security in Him. That beyond His forgiveness, I pray they learn to forgive themselves and the ones that have hurt them. That the bitterness that has rooted itself deep into their hearts will be ripped out and cast out and replaced by love and joy and contentment. I pray His blood covering over them and every area of their lives: their jobs, their health, their finances, their home and relationships.
I remember when my mom interviewed for her current job position. One of the questions they asked her in the interview was how important security is to her. She said it was at the top of her list of importance. (She had had several companies close and lost her job as a result over the years). I pray that she would stop running from the only security she will ever need: a Husband, a Father, a Friend, a Provider, a Teacher, a Saviour, a Redeemer, a Protector, Truth.
This is where my heart is today and I wanted to share. I know I'm not the only daughter of the King out there believing for her family. So whether it is your parents, siblings, husband, children or grandchildren...never give up hope. Keep praying. Ask the Lord to reveal their hearts to you in order to help you pray for them. Don't assume you know what is going on in their minds and hearts, only He knows the truth. I never would have guessed fear when it came to my family. God revealed that to me when I stopped telling Him what it was and started asking Him what it was. And now I can see it in them. Be fervent in your prayers, but be open and listen to what the Spirit has to share with you.
Good Job
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