You are not a mistake. You are not worthless. -Cambodia Missions Blog Part 3
While in Cambodia we took a morning tour of the Killing Fields in Phnom Penh-Choueng Ek.
I remember the first time I saw Pastor Sophea, when he was visiting our church in America. He was giving a sermon on a Sunday morning and he shared about the genocide that had taken place in his country.
Some people have studied the Khmer Rouge rule in Cambodia, but I had never heard of it until that Sunday morning. When our last mission team returned from Cambodia two years ago they shared the emotions they experienced as they toured the killing fields and the genocide museum. Many of them were broken before the devastation the people of Cambodia endured and died by.
As I was preparing for our trip, I started researching the history of Cambodia and studied the Khmer Rouge rule, the prison camps and the genocide. Knowing from friends already that this nation and its people are still severely scarred by the horrific events that took place. I'll be honest, as emotional of a person as I can be, I was terrified that I would lose it when we went on the tour. I had to really pray and prepare myself and ask the Lord to help me through. He is faithful and got me through it much better than I anticipated.
I can't begin to describe the difficulty with which we listened to the recorded tour as we walked from location to location and heard the history of each step the victims took while being sentenced to death. Seeing the beautiful sugar palms scattered about and knowing their bark was used as natural weapons to slit throats and to see the fenced off areas where hundreds of bodies were piled on top of each other and buried, sometimes still alive, but slowly dying.
I could go on and on about the heartbreak, the heaviness, and the sense of evil that blankets this place. But I choose to take a different route here.
Below is a link to a website that gives some interesting facts that highlight the genocide and what the people of Cambodia suffered through this period of communist rule by Pol Pot. I'd suggest reading it for a quick education if you don't know much about the Khmer Rouge and want to understand a little better. Also there are plenty of books and a movie out there that will give you plenty of information.
http://www.listland.com/top-10-facts-about-the-cambodian-genocide/
While we went through the tour of the fields I took some notes of impressions I had, thoughts that came to mind and specific quotes from the recorded tour and testimonies of a few who were able to be called survivors.
While this nation still bears the weight of the emotional scars and their economy is still struggling to come out from under the poverty that was birthed during that time...they are a beautiful, accepting, and loving culture.
Every Khmer person I had he pleasure of meeting showed nothing but love, kindness and hospitality to our group. I didn't meet a single person there that rubbed me the wrong way or was rude in any way. It was refreshing. It was a surprise also. The difference in courtesy and friendliness was probably the biggest culture shock for me, particularly when I returned back to the states and felt as if acid was being thrown on me by American "customer service and common courtesy".
Below are some of the things that jumped out at me during our tour that I have taken the time to reflect on and even seek God's word. Pol Pots statements, or mindsets, led to extremely heinous acts of violence against the people of Cambodia. Even though he is long since dead and the people are once again free to live, educate themselves, worship freely and build businesses again the spirit behind his thinking is very much still a spirit we combat today, sometimes in our own thinking.
One phrase that he was quoted saying is, "To keep you is no gain, to lose you is no loss."
Can you imagine someone in power telling you that about yourself; your life?
Though I have never had those words said directly to me, I have felt that way. I have felt that way many times in my life. It leads to a mindset that says, "I am worthless." Have any of you ever felt worthless?
Worthless is a word that I have had to go to battle with in my walk as a Christian. Worthless has tried to bring me down and bury me beneath its hollow heaviness. Worthless has attempted to smother me and quiet me with fear and depression. Worthless has bound me with terror and kept me from serving or trying new things. Worthless has crippled me in countless ways over my lifetime. Worthless is a LIE. It is a lie that I chose to nail to the cross six years ago.
Although I can't share this with the victims of Pol Pot and those who were lost during his regime. I can share it with any one of you now who is fighting against this worthless spirit. I can help arm you with the Word of God to go to battle with Worthless and to cast it down in your own life.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
1 Peter 2:9 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
Luke 15:10 "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
Psalm 57:2 "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me."
Galatians 1:15 "But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace..."
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
1 John 4:9-11 "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
If I was so worthless why would God send His perfect and only Son to die for me? Why would Jesus be willing to take that burden on for someone who is worthless, of no value, and serves no purpose by existing?
Why would the angels in heaven rejoice over my repentance and salvation if I was worthless?
The Word says that He knew me before He formed me (note: HE FORMED ME) and He consecrated me before I was even born. Does that sound worthless to you?
For anyone who believes in our Creator and knows that He makes no mistakes this should be something we cling to when we are at war with Worthless. Because these verses tell us that we are anything but.
And if those aren't enough the entire chapter of Psalm 139 should be one to pray and speak over your life until it becomes a part of who you are.
Psalm 139
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
And to those who are in your life that empower the spirit of worthless this is what scripture has to say about them...
Matthew 18:6 "But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea."
Realize who you are in Christ and pray for those who don't see it yet, that the eyes of their understanding may be opened as well. But no that you are not worthless, because the hands that created heaven and earth also created you. He knit together every piece of you with a plan and purpose in mind. He meant good for your life and not evil. The voice that spoke matter into existence is the same voice that speaks love and forgiveness and purpose over you now. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."
When Worthless tries to overwhelm you, remember that the Lord God has formed you, called you, drawn you and loved you with an everlasting love. Our worth is found in Jesus Christ-the abundance of life. We are the temple of His Holy Spirit, there is no room for worthless when you filled to overflowing with the grace of God.
I remember the first time I saw Pastor Sophea, when he was visiting our church in America. He was giving a sermon on a Sunday morning and he shared about the genocide that had taken place in his country.
Some people have studied the Khmer Rouge rule in Cambodia, but I had never heard of it until that Sunday morning. When our last mission team returned from Cambodia two years ago they shared the emotions they experienced as they toured the killing fields and the genocide museum. Many of them were broken before the devastation the people of Cambodia endured and died by.
As I was preparing for our trip, I started researching the history of Cambodia and studied the Khmer Rouge rule, the prison camps and the genocide. Knowing from friends already that this nation and its people are still severely scarred by the horrific events that took place. I'll be honest, as emotional of a person as I can be, I was terrified that I would lose it when we went on the tour. I had to really pray and prepare myself and ask the Lord to help me through. He is faithful and got me through it much better than I anticipated.
I can't begin to describe the difficulty with which we listened to the recorded tour as we walked from location to location and heard the history of each step the victims took while being sentenced to death. Seeing the beautiful sugar palms scattered about and knowing their bark was used as natural weapons to slit throats and to see the fenced off areas where hundreds of bodies were piled on top of each other and buried, sometimes still alive, but slowly dying.
I could go on and on about the heartbreak, the heaviness, and the sense of evil that blankets this place. But I choose to take a different route here.
Below is a link to a website that gives some interesting facts that highlight the genocide and what the people of Cambodia suffered through this period of communist rule by Pol Pot. I'd suggest reading it for a quick education if you don't know much about the Khmer Rouge and want to understand a little better. Also there are plenty of books and a movie out there that will give you plenty of information.
http://www.listland.com/top-10-facts-about-the-cambodian-genocide/
While we went through the tour of the fields I took some notes of impressions I had, thoughts that came to mind and specific quotes from the recorded tour and testimonies of a few who were able to be called survivors.
While this nation still bears the weight of the emotional scars and their economy is still struggling to come out from under the poverty that was birthed during that time...they are a beautiful, accepting, and loving culture.
Every Khmer person I had he pleasure of meeting showed nothing but love, kindness and hospitality to our group. I didn't meet a single person there that rubbed me the wrong way or was rude in any way. It was refreshing. It was a surprise also. The difference in courtesy and friendliness was probably the biggest culture shock for me, particularly when I returned back to the states and felt as if acid was being thrown on me by American "customer service and common courtesy".
Below are some of the things that jumped out at me during our tour that I have taken the time to reflect on and even seek God's word. Pol Pots statements, or mindsets, led to extremely heinous acts of violence against the people of Cambodia. Even though he is long since dead and the people are once again free to live, educate themselves, worship freely and build businesses again the spirit behind his thinking is very much still a spirit we combat today, sometimes in our own thinking.
One phrase that he was quoted saying is, "To keep you is no gain, to lose you is no loss."
Can you imagine someone in power telling you that about yourself; your life?
Though I have never had those words said directly to me, I have felt that way. I have felt that way many times in my life. It leads to a mindset that says, "I am worthless." Have any of you ever felt worthless?
Worthless is a word that I have had to go to battle with in my walk as a Christian. Worthless has tried to bring me down and bury me beneath its hollow heaviness. Worthless has attempted to smother me and quiet me with fear and depression. Worthless has bound me with terror and kept me from serving or trying new things. Worthless has crippled me in countless ways over my lifetime. Worthless is a LIE. It is a lie that I chose to nail to the cross six years ago.
Although I can't share this with the victims of Pol Pot and those who were lost during his regime. I can share it with any one of you now who is fighting against this worthless spirit. I can help arm you with the Word of God to go to battle with Worthless and to cast it down in your own life.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
1 Peter 2:9 "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light."
Luke 15:10 "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."
Psalm 57:2 "I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me."
Galatians 1:15 "But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace..."
Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
1 John 4:9-11 "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
If I was so worthless why would God send His perfect and only Son to die for me? Why would Jesus be willing to take that burden on for someone who is worthless, of no value, and serves no purpose by existing?
Why would the angels in heaven rejoice over my repentance and salvation if I was worthless?
The Word says that He knew me before He formed me (note: HE FORMED ME) and He consecrated me before I was even born. Does that sound worthless to you?
For anyone who believes in our Creator and knows that He makes no mistakes this should be something we cling to when we are at war with Worthless. Because these verses tell us that we are anything but.
And if those aren't enough the entire chapter of Psalm 139 should be one to pray and speak over your life until it becomes a part of who you are.
Psalm 139
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
And to those who are in your life that empower the spirit of worthless this is what scripture has to say about them...
Matthew 18:6 "But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea."
Realize who you are in Christ and pray for those who don't see it yet, that the eyes of their understanding may be opened as well. But no that you are not worthless, because the hands that created heaven and earth also created you. He knit together every piece of you with a plan and purpose in mind. He meant good for your life and not evil. The voice that spoke matter into existence is the same voice that speaks love and forgiveness and purpose over you now. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."
When Worthless tries to overwhelm you, remember that the Lord God has formed you, called you, drawn you and loved you with an everlasting love. Our worth is found in Jesus Christ-the abundance of life. We are the temple of His Holy Spirit, there is no room for worthless when you filled to overflowing with the grace of God.
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